


Disconnect, Connect Again

by cypress_tree



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Developing Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, POV Outsider, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4495755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypress_tree/pseuds/cypress_tree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raising Newt Geiszler has never been easy.  Seeing him fall in love can be harder.</p><p>The development of Newt and Hermann's relationship, from Jacob Geiszler's point-of-view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to [geniusbee](http://geniusbee.tumblr.com/) for betaing and [kurama2212](http://kurama2212.tumblr.com/) for [this very helpful post](http://kurama2212.tumblr.com/post/102746955097/k-science-disclaimer-sci-fi-films-make-huge) on the realities (and utter falsehoods) of k-science

Jacob Geiszler is on the Red Line when he spots a forgotten copy of the Globe, folded open. His eye is caught by an article on the Jaeger Program.

_Construction has begun, with funding recently approved by the U.N. The program is headed by Dr. Lars Gottlieb of CogniTech _—_ Germany’s leading artificial intelligence company. Dr. Gottlieb aims for deployment in 2015 _—__

The train jolts, and Jacob's eyes are torn away. He glances out the window as they approach the next stop, then pulls the paper closer, to claim it.

_Coding is led by his son, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb _—_ a 24-year-old prodigy and alum of the Technical University of Berlin._

The train approaches Jacob’s station, and he refolds the paper, leaving it behind for the next person to read.

 _24_ , he thinks. _That’s just a year older than Newt_.

 

\---

 

Illia is in his usual spot in the living room _—_ sitting in an armchair, watching game shows on TV. He looks up as Jacob walks in, so Jacob flashes a smile.

“How was your day?” he asks.

Illia shrugs.

“I went to CVS to pick up your prescription, but there was some sort of mix-up, so it won’t be in until tomorrow. Are you okay until then?”

“I’ll live.”

Jacob’s smile tightens. “Is Newt home?”

“In here!” Newt walks in from the kitchen, still in his jacket and Converse, eating leftover Chinese takeout with mismatched chopsticks. “You should get your meds delivered, like I do,” he says to Illia. “It’s way easier.”

Jacob frowns. “Why are you eating? I was going to make dinner.”

“This isn’t dinner, this is a pre-dinner snack.” Newt sits down on the sofa next to Illia’s armchair and makes an incorrect guess at a question on Jeopardy.

Jacob shakes his head. He goes into the kitchen and pulls a sauté pan from the cabinet.

 

\---

 

Newt and Illia are still watching TV when Jacob puts dinner in the oven and sorts the mail that he left on the counter.

“You got a letter,” he says, walking back out towards Newt in the living room. Newt doesn’t even look up.

“Is it something I actually _want_?”

“It’s from England. Return address says Dr. H. Gottlieb.”

Newt snatches the letter from Jacob’s hand and gets up from the couch, abandoning his empty carton of lo mein on the coffee table.

“That name sounds familiar,” Jacob says. “Isn’t he the one in charge of the Jaeger Program?”

Newt’s not listening. He unfolds the letter while walking up the stairs and disappears without saying a word.

Illia looks away from his game show to raise an eyebrow at his brother.

“Lars is the one in charge of the program,” he says. “‘ _H_. Gottlieb’ would be his son, Hermann.”

 

\---

 

The next morning, Newt and Jacob leave the apartment together. Newt pauses at a mailbox as they walk down the street and pulls a letter out of his messenger bag. Jacob can’t help but notice the overseas stamp.

“How do you know Hermann Gottlieb?” he asks. “Are you working on something for the Jaeger Program?”

Newt shakes his head. “No, I don’t know him, actually. I saw a letter he sent to _The International Journal of Robotics Research_. He pointed out all the things wrong with an article they published on Pons technology, so they had to print an apology, and ended up asking Hermann to write an entirely new article on the same subject. I would have emailed him about it, but I couldn’t find an email address anywhere.”

“So you’re sending him snail mail?”

Newt grins. “He writes a good letter.” He pulls his scarf tighter around his neck and drops the envelope into the box.

 

\---

 

Newt begins writing to Hermann in earnest _—_ letters come and go on a weekly basis. Some days, Jacob comes home to find the mail already rifled through. Others, Newt arrives late and asks about it as he walks in the door.

Jacob doesn’t think much of it at first, but weeks and then months pass and Newt and Hermann are still writing to each other. Jacob is glad _—_ Newt always found it hard to make friends when he was younger. It was hard to engage with him, hard to keep up with him. Even for Jacob and Illia.

Newt is leaning against the wall in the kitchen. He just got home from work, and didn’t bother to take off his jacket or even put down his bag before tearing into Hermann’s newest letter. Jacob watches from the other side of the counter.

“He’s fucking brilliant,” Newt murmurs.

“ _Language_ , please.”

“He’s brilliant, but he’s so totally wrong.” Newt huffs a laugh. He folds the letter into thirds and clutches it in both hands, turning to walk out the door. Jacob tries to catch his attention, willing him to stay and talk for just a moment.

“What is he wrong about?”

“Uh _—_ ” Newt pauses. “There was some research published recently in this new xenobiology journal. I don’t even know why Hermann was reading it _—_ he’s not a biologist _—_ but he had some issues with what I think was a pretty good article. Basically, they were theorizing about a live Kaiju's internal temperature, since it would obviously have to be pretty high for a silicon-based organism to stay stable in an oxygen-rich atmosphere. I mean, otherwise it would just oxidize as soon as it got to Earth, right?”

Jacob feels completely lost. He smiles and nods, hoping it will encourage Newt to continue, but Newt just smirks and waves a dismissive hand in the air.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, you wouldn’t understand.” He heads upstairs to his room. Jacob is left alone in the kitchen.

 

\---

 

Hermann has been working on coding the Jaegers. The day he finishes, Newt announces it to the room, reading aloud from Hermann’s email as he lies upside-down on the sofa. Newt’s overflowing with praise, more excited than Jacob’s ever seen him.

“It’s going to be _huge_ news,” he says, as he sits down to dinner that night. “It’s going to change the way humanity fights this war! And Hermann wrote it all himself _—_ he coded this thing completely on his own!” He plops a spoonful of mashed potato onto his plate, then reaches for the phone in his pocket. “I keep checking BBC News, because as soon as the story hits _—_ ”

“Not at the table,” Jacob reminds him. Newt puts the phone away.

“They’re gonna interview Hermann, I know they are. They can’t _not_ , right?”

“I couldn’t say.”

“The only picture I’ve seen of him is a black-and-white publicity photo. He barely gets any press.”

Jacob looks at Illia across the table, wondering if they’re thinking the same thing. They must be _—_ Illia is holding back a smile.

 

\---

 

The story breaks on the 11:00 news. Newt catches his breath when Hermann comes onscreen, though he’s only filmed for a few seconds. He gives a short statement about being pleased with the project’s success, then is cut off, in favor of his father.

Jacob turns to Newt and is about to say something about how unfortunate it is that the segment was cut short, but when he sees the look on Newt’s face, the words die on his tongue.

Newt’s eyes are wide with surprise, his lips turned up just a bit. He runs a hand through his hair and laughs, sheepishly.

“He looks like a total nerd,” he says. He blinks a few times, then bites his lip. “He sounds so _—_ I mean, I knew he grew up in England, but for some reason I wasn’t expecting the accent.” He laughs again, sounding nervous, then slumps back on the couch, sitting still for a few moments before getting up and heading for his room.

“I’m going to bed,” he calls down the stairs. “Goodnight.”

 

\---

 

Newt never really “came out” in the way that some people do. One day, when he was fourteen, he brought home a boy he had met in his after-school science club, and introduced him as “my boyfriend.” Later, when he was sixteen, he dated a girl with a shaved head and five facial piercings. He stopped dating when he started his first PhD program, but Jacob can still tell when Newt has a crush.

The day after the interview, Newt and Hermann exchange Skype usernames. Newt tells Jacob and Illia not to bother him, then closes himself off in his room. He comes out an hour later with too much energy and his cheeks flushed pink. He’s struggling hard not to smile.

“How was your Skype call?” Jacob asks.

Newt grins. “Good. Great.”

“Did you talk science?”

“Yeah, obviously. Did you know Hermann has a cowlick on the back of his head? I didn’t notice it in that interview but it’s so funny _—_ his hair just sticks straight up. Every time he turns around it’s like it’s right there staring at you.”

“What’s he working on, now that the Jaeger code is complete?”

“Uh _—_ I don’t know, I mean, he has to actually implement the code, so I guess he’s gonna do that.”

“The cowlick seems more interesting, anyway,” Illia says.

Newt laughs, but looks at Illia a little sideways, as if he’s not sure whether he’s being teased or not.

“I assume you’re going to chat again?” Jacob asks.

“Yeah, for sure! Definitely. Maybe like, this weekend or something.” Newt is a little fidgety, rocking back and forth on his heels. When he doesn’t get any more questions, he goes into the kitchen, then walks back out without getting anything. He looks like he isn’t sure what to do with himself. He goes back upstairs to his room. Illia laughs.

 

\---

 

Jacob never paid much attention to news reports on the Jaeger Program, but he finds that he’s more interested, now. He skims articles for Hermann’s name, watches documentaries about Jaeger construction.

“I never thought it would actually happen,” Illia mumbles, as they watch TV in the living room. “It’s been years. I always thought the Kaiju would kill us off before we completed one.”

Jacob nods. He had similar doubts, though he always hoped the Kaiju would just go away _—_ stop coming.

Lars Gottlieb appears on TV. He has a deeply-lined face and a heavy brow. His mouth is set into a straight line, but it twists up as he corrects a reporter.

“I don’t like that man,” Illia says.

Newt comes through the door with a cheerful “hey, what’s up?” He kicks off his shoes, then looks over at the TV when he hears Lars Gottlieb speak.

“We’re watching something about the Jaeger Program,” Jacob says. “Interested?”

Newt shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good.” He hangs around for another minute, frowns at the TV, then leaves the room.

Illia snorts. “I don’t think Newt likes him, either.”

 

\---

 

Later that day, Jacob takes Illia to therapy. He sits in the waiting room, reading a library book that he brought with him, and pointedly avoiding the pamphlets littering the small table nearby. _Suicide Prevention and Mood Disorders. Psychiatric Hospitalization: A Guide for Families._

When Illia steps out, he hands Jacob a scrap of paper with the date and time of his next appointment. Together, they walk out of the building, down the street, and onto the T.

“You want to pick up something to eat?” Jacob asks.

Illia shrugs.

“Pizza? I could go for pizza.”

“Pizza sounds good.”

They travel in relative silence. Illia is normally quiet, but he becomes even more withdrawn after therapy. Jacob used to worry about it, but he knows now that it’s just Illia’s way of processing things. Instead of prodding Illia for information, Jacob stares out the window and makes idle chatter with a family of tourists sitting nearby.

They get home earlier than Jacob had expected. When they come in the door, Newt is curled up on the sofa. He has his knees drawn up to his chest, and is chewing on his thumbnail. He’s reading a letter, and the smile on his face is bright and genuine.

“Oh, hey,” he says, looking up sharply. “Uh _—_ pizza?”

Illia takes the pizza from Jacob’s hand, bringing it into the kitchen as Jacob takes off his coat.

“Illia’s appointment went well," Jacob says. "I thought pizza would be nice treat.”

Newt nods, but he’s not listening _—_ Jacob can tell.

“Is that from Hermann?” he asks.

Newt folds the letter. “Yeah, he sent me a birthday present.” He holds up a plain black wristband for Jacob to inspect. It’s leather _—_ smooth and supple, but with a texture to it that Jacob can’t quite place.

“It’s Kaiju skin,” Newt says.

Jacob raises an eyebrow. Kaiju skin is hard to come by, and if this is real and not imitation, then it must have cost Hermann a good amount. He hands the wristband back to Newt, who strokes it with his thumb before putting it on and snapping it closed with one hand.

"He said it reminded him of me." The ghost of a smile lingers on Newt’s face. Jacob squeezes his shoulder.

 

\---

 

Later that night, Jacob and Illia are playing guitar together when Newt comes downstairs and asks if they have any extra strings. Jacob sifts through the music supplies that litter the corner of the room and hands a spare box to Newt.

“Why don’t you join us?” he asks. “We haven’t played together in ages.”

Newt shrugs and doesn’t make eye contact. “I’m kinda doing my own thing,” he says. He thanks Jacob for the strings and heads back upstairs.

Half an hour later, Jacob hears music coming from the second floor. He motions for Illia to stop playing, and neither one of them speak. They listen for a few moments, then Illia turns to his brother.

“That’s a love song, if I ever heard one," he says.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _[the international journal of robotics research](http://www.ijrr.org/)_ is a real journal (though I'm sure they would never print an article so inaccurate that hermann would feel the need to write in and rip it apart)
> 
> the pamphlets on the table at illia's therapist's office are also real. you can find them (and more) at the website of [the depression and bipolar support alliance](http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_print)


	2. Chapter 2

Newt applies to the Jaeger Academy. He doesn’t tell Jacob until after he’s already been accepted, and Jacob is furious.

“We should have talked about this!” he says. He runs a hand through his hair and paces back and forth in the kitchen. “I know you enjoy studying the Kaiju, but why can’t you do that at MIT?! Their resources are—”

“You don’t know anything about MIT's resources!” Newt is still holding his acceptance letter in one hand. “Dad, MIT is great, but I can’t stay there forever—all the foremost research is coming from the PPDC. _They_ have the resources, not universities, not even wealthy corporate labs.”

“But can’t you work at the PPDC _without_ going to the Jaeger Academy?”

“I _want_ to go. I applied because I _wanted_ to.” Newt sighs and looks down at his letter. “I know money’s tight, but my salary is higher than yours, so I can pay for it myself.”

“It’s not about the money, Newt. The PPDC is dangerous.”

“It’s not dangerous—”

“They prepare people to be pilots—to work on the Pacific! They’re on the front lines, and I don’t want you—”

“That’s where I want to be! That’s where I can do something that’s actually worthwhile!”

“And what you’re doing at MIT _isn’t_ worthwhile?”

“It’s not as immediate! It’s not dealing with the problems humanity is facing _right now_. I want to do something that—”

Jacob sighs. “You only applied for the Academy because Hermann did.”

Newt makes a small hurt noise and takes a step back. Jacob immediately regrets what he’s said.

“Newt, I—”

Newt turns from the kitchen. The front door slams shut.

 

\---

 

When Trespasser attacked, Jacob was tuning a piano in a high school auditorium. He didn’t notice the moment it became quiet, but at some point, he looked up to find that there wasn’t a soul in the room with him, and the hallways were devoid of people. He walked back to the music office and found it empty. He walked around the entire wing and didn’t see anyone outside of classrooms. Finally, he glanced inside of one.

The students were all facing forward, looks of shock and horror on their faces. Some were crying, others were comforting each other. He went closer to the door to see what they were looking at. The TV was on—there was a choppy video feed of the destruction in San Francisco.

Jacob’s first reaction was to call Newt. It didn’t make sense—Newt was in Cambridge, not California. _He’s safe_ , Jacob repeated in his head. _He’s safe, he’s safe_. He called anyway. Newt picked up after the first ring.

 

\---

 

It takes a few days for Jacob to get used to the idea of Newt going to the Academy. He knows that Newt can’t be persuaded otherwise—especially now that he’s already been accepted.

“When does it start?” Jacob asks, as Newt comes home from work.

Newt glances at him carefully. “January 4th.”

“I’ll miss your birthday.”

“We can Skype.”

Jacob nods. He continues to stir the pot of pasta in front of him. “I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he says. “When Hermann joined the Academy last year, all you could talk about was the research he was doing and the opportunities that had opened up to him. I shouldn’t have been surprised when you signed up to join yourself.”

Newt shuffles his feet. Jacob glances over at him when he doesn’t say anything.

“You know, now’s the part where you say you should have talked to me about it beforehand—”

“I’m 24 years old dad, I can make my own decisions.”

“I know that, Newt. But it would have been nice if you hadn’t dropped it on me like a bomb.”

Newt has the decency to at least look a little apologetic.

“You’ll have to show me how to use Skype before you leave,” Jacob adds, turning back to his pasta. “You know I have trouble figuring these things out.”

“I will.” Newt comes closer and sits down at the island in the kitchen, watching Jacob work as if his presence is a peace offering. “What’s for dinner?”

Jacob smiles. “Set the table and maybe I’ll tell you.”

 

\---

 

The Jaeger Academy is six months long. Newt calls every day for the first week, then every other day for the second. He struggles at first—he and his roommate don’t get along, and the lack of sunlight in winter is sometimes hard to deal with. Eventually though, he finds his place, and everything begins to feel natural.

Life is good. Jacob gains a few new clients, and is kept busy travelling from schools to concert halls to residences. He repairs instruments for a little extra money, and he and Illia are able to live comfortably, if not extravagantly.

Illia’s therapy is hugely beneficial. Jacob encourages him to leave the apartment more often, and he begins taking walks, which seem to have a good effect on his mental health. Four months after Newt leaves, Illia applies for a retail position at Guitar Center, and gets the job. They go out to dinner to celebrate, and Skype with Newt later that night.

 

\---

 

“This is totally awesome!” Newt says. It’s 10pm in Boston—6pm in Alaska. Newt is sitting in his room eating a bowl of instant ramen. “You know what’s gonna happen? It’s gonna be like in _Good Will Hunting—_ they’ll hire you at this low-level position and then they’ll find you after hours one night playing guitar and they’ll be like _dude, he’s a musical genius_!”

Illia snorts. “ _Genius_ is a little generous.”

“Oh please, you’re good.”

“Well I’ll let you know when I’m discovered. Meanwhile, how is your research coming?”

Newt raves about the labs at the Shatterdome—the quality of the samples he works with, the sheer variety of specimens he has access to. He’s clearly happy, and Jacob is glad to see it, but something is a little off. The cord of his fidget necklace is visible, although the pendant itself is tucked beneath his shirt.

“What else do they have you doing?” Jacob asks. “Besides working in the lab?” He knows that he’s asked the right question, because Newt glances away from the camera and stirs his ramen a little nervously.

“Uh—I mean, nothing that’s really gonna be of use to me, you know? I’m here for science, the other stuff is all just pre-reqs and—”

“What sort of pre-reqs?”

Newt rolls his eyes. “God, you are so _nosy_. Okay—they’ve been doing drift synch testing. They make everyone do it, because drift compatibility is so rare that if they find two people who are compatible, they basically guilt you into becoming pilots. They’ve paired me with five other people so far and can’t find a match.”

Jacob frowns. “Are you upset?”

“Well a little, yeah. Tendo and I thought we were golden.”

“Just because two people are friends doesn’t mean they’re drift compatible.”

“I know, but—”

“And you said it yourself, drift compatibility is rare.”

“Yeah, but still. I kinda hoped—I mean, it would be cool to find someone—”

“You never wanted to be a pilot.”

“I know! I just—god, forget about it. It doesn’t even matter, it’s not even a thing.”

Illia interrupts and changes the subject.

 

\---

 

When Newt graduates, he’s offered a position at the xenobiology lab of the Los Angeles Shatterdome. He’s overjoyed by the news, looking forward to warm weather and sunny beaches after six months of cold Alaskan temperatures.

Jacob is happy for him—he _is_. He only wishes that Newt would come home for a bit. L.A. wants him to start only a week after the Academy’s graduation ceremony, so there won’t be time for Newt to visit in between. Newt doesn’t even mention wanting to, and Jacob doesn’t bring it up, for fear of sounding too clingy.

To Jacob’s relief, Newt asks if he wants to visit that summer. Jacob enthusiastically agrees. Illia hates flying and opts to stay at home, so Jacob promises to take plenty of pictures.

 

\---

 

Newt meets Jacob at the baggage claim. His face is tanned already, his hair highlighted by the sun.

“Hey!” he says, wrapping Jacob in an enthusiastic hug. “Welcome to L.A.!” When he pulls back, Jacob notices more details—the abundance of freckles on his skin, and the grit of sand stuck to his glasses.

“Looks like this warm weather is good for you,” Jacob says. He picks up his bag and follows Newt out the door.

“Yeah, well I’m taking advantage of it after the hellhole that was Alaska.” Newt snorts. “I just signed up for surfing lessons too, so I’m only gonna get worse.”

Jacob frowns. “They let you surf in the Pacific?”

“Yeah, dad. It’s not a huge deal.”

It sounds like a huge deal to Jacob, but he doesn’t fight it.

 

\---

 

Newt lives in an apartment within walking distance to the Shatterdome. He waves at a few people on the way there, and Jacob can’t help but notice how at home he looks—how comfortable and happy. It hurts a little.  Jacob always thought that Newt loved Boston.

“I know it’s kind of a mess,” Newt says, as they walk in the door. “There’s this conference coming up, and my lab is presenting our research on Kaiju Blue, so. I’m kind of preparing for that.”

Jacob moves a stack of papers from the sofa to the coffee table, then sits down.

“What kind of a conference?” he asks.

“Oh, it’s—well, actually it’s a pretty big deal. The PPDC is putting it on, and scientists are coming from all over the world to talk about the Kaiju and the Breach and uh—the Jaeger Program.” There’s a hitch in Newt’s voice. “Actually, I just found out that Hermann’s gonna be there, too.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow. Newt purses his lips, looking like he can hardly contain his excitement.

“Have you spoken to him about it?” Jacob asks.

“Yeah, we’re gonna meet up. _Finally_. We’ve been friends for like five years.”

“Are you excited?”

“Um, _yeah_ I’m excited. Of course I’m excited, I’ve wanted to meet him in person since—” Newt laughs. One hand drops to his wrist, where he’s still wearing the leather wristband that Hermann had given him two years ago. He twists it, distractedly. Jacob can’t get over how happy he looks.

“Well, I’m glad,” he says.

Newt’s still grinning. He rocks back and forth on his heels, then turns abruptly and goes into the kitchen.

“Hey, do you want anything to drink?” he asks. “Or eat?”

 

\---

 

Jacob spends a week in California. Newt wasn’t able to take the whole week off, so on the days that he’s working, Jacob explores the neighborhood, visiting nearby music stores and reading in the sun in a public park. Newt suggests that Jacob go to the beach, claiming that the beaches on the west coast are so different from the beaches on the east. Jacob declines. The thought of the Pacific Ocean still makes him a little nervous.

Newt works on Monday and Tuesday, then spends the rest of the week with Jacob. They travel around the city, visiting Newt’s favorite restaurants and seeing L.A.’s tourist attractions. The whole week is wonderful. By the time Jacob leaves, he’s become a little more comfortable with Newt living so far away.

 

\---

 

Newt’s conference is in August. Jacob expects a call the very first night, but isn’t too surprised when he doesn’t get one. Newt could have been busy, or could have stayed out late. With the three-hour time difference, there’s always a chance of him calling after Jacob’s already gone to sleep.

The weekend passes by, and on Sunday night, Newt still hasn’t called. Jacob sends him a text: _how was the conference?_ but Newt just responds with a brief _good busy ttyl_.

Something is wrong. Jacob tries calling Newt on Skype, but Newt doesn’t take the call. It’s two days later when they finally get in touch, and it’s exactly what Jacob feared. Newt looks terrible. His eyes are bloodshot and his hair is greasy. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“Hey dad,” he says.

“What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“You look—”

Newt laughs, flattening his hair with one hand. “Yeah, I—I’ve been working a lot. Late nights and long days.”

Jacob is almost afraid to ask. “How was the conference?”

“Well, our presentation went well.”

“Did you meet up with Hermann?”

Newt’s face shuts down. He looks away from the screen, and plasters a tight, false smile on his face.

“Uh—yeah, that was—not so great. We don’t get along in real life.”

“Why—”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Jacob closes his mouth. There’s a strange, awkward silence between them.

 

\---

 

Newt doesn’t say much after that. He ends the conversation fairly quickly, and Jacob doesn’t hear from him again for another week. This time, Newt calls the house phone.

“Hey, is Illia there?” he asks.

Jacob nods, although he knows Newt can’t see him. “Yes, he’s in the living room.”

“Could I talk to him? Alone?”

 

\---

 

Newt and Illia have a relationship that Jacob isn’t privy to. It’s based on similar diagnoses—shared experiences. Jacob isn’t without his own mental health issues, but he doesn’t need to take medication or see a therapist. He’s never had to be hospitalized. His role in the family is that of caretaker, and he knows this. He accepts it and respects it, but still sometimes wonders—maybe Illia understands Newt in a way that he never could, himself.

Jacob is too tempted to eavesdrop, so he goes upstairs, to Newt’s room. He stands just inside the door, gazing around at the posters on the walls and the bed that he made himself, after realizing Newt had left it a mess. There’s a tangle of wires and speakers on Newt’s dresser. There’s an empty space on his desk, where his laptop used to sit. Jacob looks at the corkboard hanging on the wall. It's decorated with ticket stubs, pictures of childhood pets, and notes-to-self that Newt clearly forgot about. In one corner is the wrapper from a candy he had eaten in Japan, and was still hoping to find in the US. In another is a picture of Hermann that Jacob has never seen before.

Jacob pulls out the thumbtack and takes the picture down. It’s not a publicity photo. It looks like Newt printed it himself. In it, Hermann is looking away from the camera, down at the ground. He’s blushing a bit, and there’s a smile on his face that Jacob has never seen in Hermann’s few brief news appearances. Jacob looks back up at the cork board, where there’s another scrap of paper right underneath. It’s a note in Newt’s handwriting— _h_gottlieb89_.

The pieces slide into place. The photo is a screenshot from Skype. The note is Hermann’s screenname.

 

\---

 

Later that night, Illia tells Jacob only the barest of details. Newt and Hermann didn’t get along when they met—they argued and fought, and spent only two hours together before they split off and avoided each other for the rest of the conference. Now, Newt isn’t doing so well. He claims that it has nothing to do with Hermann—that it’s just the way his brain is wired—but Jacob can’t help but feel that the timing is a little coincidental.

“Is he alright?” Jacob asks.

Illia shrugs. “He will be.”

They have dinner at the kitchen table, but Jacob doesn’t have much of an appetite. He keeps thinking about Hermann’s screenname, wondering if it would be an invasion of Newt’s privacy to use it.

“You could talk to him about it, you know,” Illia says.

Jacob starts, then realizes that Illia is talking about Newt. He shakes his head. “He didn’t want to talk to me, he wanted to talk to you.”

“He wanted to talk to me about medication. That’s all.” Illia puts his fork down in his empty plate. Jacob sighs.

 

\---

 

He doesn’t do it right away. The guilt is too much for him, but soon, so is Newt’s silence. Newt takes to answering Jacob’s texts with just one or two words. He stops adding new pictures to Facebook, and he doesn’t even come online on Skype anymore.

When Newt avoids Jacob’s calls for a week, Jacob finally decides to go through with it. The last he heard, Hermann was working at the Vladivostok Shatterdome in Russia. That would make his timezone 14 hours ahead.

 

\---

 

Jacob’s username on Skype is Jacob_Geiszler. Newt had called it boring and uncreative, but Jacob couldn’t think of anything else, and Newt’s suggestion of “piano_man” was already taken. It doesn’t matter much to Jacob, who never Skypes with anyone but his son. In this situation, it may even work in his favor.

Jacob types in Hermann’s username and sends a friend request. He bites his lip. What if Hermann denies the request? Surely he’ll recognize Jacob’s surname. He sits at the computer for three minutes, moving things around on his desk and wondering how long it will take for the request to go through. Hermann could be busy. He could be away from the computer or working on something else. What if he—

The request is accepted. Jacob takes a breath and initiates a call.

The first thing he notices is that Hermann looks very concerned. He’s frowning, but not out of anger so much as worry and confusion. He waits for Jacob to make the first move.

“Uh—Dr. Gottlieb?” Jacob asks.

Hermann nods. “Yes?”

Jacob realizes now that he doesn’t have a plan. He only half-expected Hermann to take the call. He knows what he wants to find out—knows the questions he wants to ask, but he’s not sure how to begin.

“Is Newton alright?” Hermann demands.

“Oh!” Jacob feels guilty. “Yes! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“When I saw your name, I thought something had—”

“No, no, Newt’s fine.”

The tension leaves Hermann’s face. He nods and looks down at something on his desk.

“Why are you contacting me?” he asks.

Jacob sighs. “I’m sorry, I know we’ve never met. I’m Newt’s dad.”

“You look like him.”

“He looks like _me_ , you mean.”

Hermann gives a tight smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I don’t mean to offend, Mr. Geiszler, but I’m very busy—”

“What happened between you two?”

Hermann recoils as if he’s been struck. Jacob didn’t mean to ask the question quite so bluntly, but now that it’s out, he can’t take it back.

“Excuse me?” Hermann asks.

“I know Newt thought highly of you, and I know you two wrote to each other and Skyped. And then he mentioned that he would be meeting you, and the next time I heard from him, he looked like he’d been hit by a truck and he refused to say more than two sentences about you.”

“Did you ask your son what happened?”

“Yes. He told me you didn’t get along. That’s all he’ll say, and somehow, I don’t think that’s the whole story.”

Hermann looks uncomfortable. Jacob is beginning to realize how intrusive this must seem.

“I know it’s not really any of my business, but he hasn’t been well lately. He’s not taking good care of himself, and he’s avoiding my attempts to reach out to him. I’m his dad—I’m worried about him. I just want to know what’s going on."

Hermann bites his lip. His eyes are distant, and there’s a long pause that Jacob wants to fill, but finally, Hermann speaks.

“He met me at the airport with flowers,” he says. “Within the first hour of our meeting, it became clear that we wanted different things from the relationship.”

Jacob nods, carefully. “He had a pretty big crush on you.”

“I’m aware.”

“And you didn’t return—”

“I’m engaged.”

 

\---

 

Hermann explains himself—perhaps overexplains. He sounds like a student presenting a report, repeating the facts as if he’s been practicing what to say in his bathroom mirror.

His fiancée is named Vanessa. They met at Cambridge when they were were both undergraduates, and they became fast friends due to their similar areas of research. Hermann had mentioned Vanessa in passing, but never told Newt when their relationship turned romantic.

Jacob listens with growing disbelief. He knows his son. He knows how incredibly obvious Newt is when he’s interested in someone. He finds it hard to believe that Hermann never once suspected that Newt wanted more than friendship.

“It’s true that he was affectionate,” Hermann says. “But I assumed that he was just an affectionate person.”

Jacob doesn’t believe it.

Hermann talks for longer than Jacob had expected. Once Newt found out about Hermann’s engagement, he became cold and rude. They started arguing, and what had previously been heated debate quickly turned into shouting and cruelty. Newt always lashes out when he’s hurt, so Jacob can’t say he’s surprised. He listens as Hermann lays all the blame on Newt— _Newt_ was acting unreasonable, _Newt_ started arguments, _Newt_ wouldn’t accept the facts and move on. It seems a little desperate. It seems like catharsis. Jacob wonders just who Hermann is trying to convince.

 

\---

 

October 17th is a cool, cloudy day in Boston. Jacob is on his way to a private residence—a red brick building on Beacon Hill that he’s visited twice before. He’s standing in line for coffee, listening idly to the conversations around him, when he hears a loud gasp, then a murmur that begins to spread throughout the building.

“Not again,” someone says.

The woman behind Jacob starts murmuring prayers in Spanish. He turns around to find her dialing on her phone.

“ _Mijo_ ,” she says, looking up at him. “ _Mi hijo está en Los Ángeles_.”

Jacob feels his own phone vibrate in his pocket. When he pulls it out, he finds a flashing red alert on the screen.

_MOBILE ALERT: CATEGORY III KAIJU HEADED FOR LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA_

Jacob’s heart begins to race. He taps on the first article he sees and skims through to find the location of the attack. The Kaiju was spotted from the Long Beach Waterfront, but it hasn’t hit land. It’s still heading for shore.

Jacob stumbles out of line. He stabs Newt’s shortcut on his phone, but the call goes straight to voicemail.

“ _Shit_ ,” Jacob mutters. He calls again and again, but nothing goes through. He checks back on the article, which is being updated in real time. The kajiu has reached the RMS _Queen Mary_. It’s split the whole ship in half.

Jacob gasps for breath. His fingertips are cold, and he’s feeling light-headed. He goes outside and sits down against the building, right on the sidewalk.

“Turn on your phone,” he mutters, dialing Newt again and again. “Turn on your goddamn phone.”

 

\---

 

They name it Yamarashi. It destroys Queensway Bridge, then smashes through Terminal Island. Jacob is glued to his phone, refreshing over and over, staring at the estimated death count as the number steadily climbs.

Newt calls, and Jacob’s heart almost stops.

“Hey, I’m okay,” Newt says.

“God, Newt, I thought you were dead! Why didn’t you—”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I fell asleep in the lab last night. My phone died.”

“You’re at the Shatterdome?”

“Yeah, I’m safe.”

“What’s happening?”

Jacob can’t read the news while he’s on his phone, so Newt feeds him updates. Two Jaegers were deployed to stop Yamarashi. One has already been taken down. Now, _Lady Danger_ is trying to gain the upper hand.

“Where are you?” Jacob asks. He can hear commotion on Newt’s end of the line—voices, like he’s in someplace crowded.

“I’m in a shelter, right below the Shatterdome,” Newt says. “It’s open to all non-essential personnel.”

Jacob’s stomach churns.

“I’m okay,” Newt says. “Even if the fight reaches the city, I’m underground. There’s no safer place to be.”

Jacob stays right where he is, ignoring the passers-by who eye him as they walk down the sidewalk. Newt keeps up a steady description of events as he watches them unfold on the TV screens in the shelter.

“They’re pushing it towards the freeway,” he says. “That’s in the opposite direction from me.”

Jacob closes his eyes, resting his forehead against his bent knees and listening to the sound of Newt’s voice.

“Oh man, you should see this. The _size_ of it. It’s the biggest one yet—it’s gotta be like 2k tons or more.”

Jacob laughs, weakly. Only Newt would be so excited at a time like this.

“Dude, they just hit it right in the face!”

There’s a cheer in the background. Jacob knows that the Kaiju is dead.

 

\---

 

Newt gets Yamarashi tattooed on his left forearm. It’s his first tattoo, and although Jacob doesn’t entirely approve, he doesn’t complain, either. The fire is back in Newt’s eyes. He’s smiling again, he’s keeping in contact. If he wants to celebrate the event that brought him out of his own head and back into the world, then that’s fine.

The seasons change in New England. Leaves fall from the trees, and winter brings cold air and the first dusting of snow. Newt comes home for Christmas. It’s funny to see his face tanned and freckled when Boston hasn’t seen the sun for six days.

“Hey,” Newt says, greeting Jacob at the airport. “I’m almost happy to see this weather.”

Jacob laughs and pats him on the back. He picks up Newt’s duffle bag despite his son’s protests and carries it out to the bus.

 

\---

 

Christmas is their usual affair—Jacob cooks a goose, and the three of them eat together at the kitchen table. They don’t have any other family to visit, and none of them are the least bit religious. Their holiday plans aren’t too much more involved than eat, relax, and watch terrible Christmas specials on TV.

Newt has his laptop open. He’s typing away as Jacob and Illia watch _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ , and he barely glances up, even at his favorite parts.

“Hey,” Jacob says. “Could you put away the work for a bit? You’re on vacation.” Newt doesn’t answer, or even look over at him, so Jacob reaches for the laptop, in an effort to shut it closed.

“Stop it,” Newt whines. When he pulls away, the sleeve of his hoodie is tugged to his elbow. He’s wearing Hermann’s Kaiju skin wristband.

“You still have that?” Jacob asks. He realizes too late that he probably shouldn’t have said anything. Newt frowns and yanks his sleeve back down. He doesn’t answer. Two minutes later, he closes his laptop and leaves the room without saying a word.

 

\---

 

Monica calls later that night. She talks to Newt for half an hour, and he tells her all about his research and his newly-published articles. Jacob keeps an eye on him, because Monica and Newt don’t always get along. Thankfully, the conversation goes well.

“Don’t call me doctor, mom. It makes me sound ancient.”

Newt is still smiling, despite the protest. When he says his goodbyes, he passes the phone to Jacob.

“She wants to talk to you,” he says.

Jacob takes the call into his bedroom.

 

\---

 

“How is my son?” Monica asks. Her English is accented with a blend of German and Italian. Jacob has always found it charming, and smiles when he hears it.

“He’s alright,” he says. “He’s doing better.”

“What do you mean _better_? He was not doing so well before?”

Jacob bites his lip. Monica tries to keep in touch, but she’s busy, and her career is important to her. She really only calls on holidays and special occasions. Newt’s birthday, if she remembers.

“He was having trouble for a bit,” Jacob admits.

“Why, did something happen? It cannot be his research, he told me that goes very well.”

“No, it wasn’t—”

“He was the top of his class, he is a bright boy, I don’t understand how—”

“It wasn’t his research.” Jacob sighs. Monica talks more than she listens—a trait that Newt seemed to inherit. “When was the last time you spoke to him?”

“I called him—eh….over the summer. July, perhaps? No—June. I was doing _Carmen_. That wasn’t too long ago, now.”

“Well, a lot’s happened since then. Did he tell you about meeting up with Hermann?”

“Hermann? I don’t know that name.”

Jacob frowns.

“He told me about Tendo, his musical friend. The one who plays flamenco.”

“Yes, Tendo was his best friend at the Academy,” Jacob says. “But Newt’s known Hermann for longer. They were sending letters back and forth. They’ve been in contact for years.”

“He didn’t tell me about this.”

“Alright, well—they met up back in August, and they didn’t get along. Newt was pretty upset about it. He’s doing better now, but I think—”

“In August? That was months ago, tell him to move on. _Tendo_ seemed nice. You know, I sent him one of my albums. He knows my music, so I say to Newt, _I’ll send your friend Tendo a signed copy_ , I say— _just give me his address and I—_ ”

“I think Newt is in love with Hermann.”

Monica falls silent.

“I think he has been for years. They wrote letters, they talked on Skype. When they finally met in real life, Newt found out that Hermann is already engaged.”

There are a few more moments of silence, then Monica laughs, softly.

“Falling in love with someone already married. It is like father, like son, eh?”

Jacob doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry,” Monica murmurs. “I should not have said that.”

 

\---

 

After they hang up, Jacob sits on the edge of his bed, staring at the blank wall across from him. He assumed that Newt had gotten over Hermann. Now, he’s not so sure. It’s not just that Newt still owns the wristband, it’s his reaction to Jacob pointing it out. He had looked hurt—ashamed, even.

Jacob sighs, and rubs at the back of his neck. Like father, like son, indeed.

 

\---


	3. Chapter 3

In 2020, Newt is transferred to Hong Kong. Jacob learns this over Skype.

“Hong Kong?” he asks. “That’s—very far away.”

“Yeah, it’s a nine-hour time difference from L.A., so twelve hours from Boston. I could call you in the middle of the night and you’d only be having lunch.” Newt grins.

“Yeah, that’s—hmm.” Jacob purses his lips.

“Is their Shatterdome bigger?” Illia asks.

Newt nods. “Yeah. I mean, it was the first, and it’s still the biggest. Most of the funding from the UN is going to Hong Kong.”

“Does this mean you have job security? In case the budget is cut?”

“Probably. Some of the smaller Shatterdomes are struggling right now, but if anyone’s safe, it’s Hong Kong. Plus, they have some epic resources. More tissue samples than L.A., and newer equipment.”

Newt is clearly excited about the news. The glamour of L.A. only lasted so long, and Jacob could tell that he was itching to move somewhere new.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he says. “I’ll have to double-check the clock every time I try to call, but I’m happy for you.”

Newt grins. “I’m supposed to fly out in April. You wanna come visit? Maybe over the summer?”

Jacob smiles. “That sounds like it could be fun.”

 

\---

 

The move sneaks up on them sooner than Jacob had expected. Newt keeps him updated before and after his two flights, then Jacob doesn’t hear from him again until 8am the next morning. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal, when his phone chimes and he sees Newt’s name on the text alert.

 _4/15/20_  
_8:14am_  
_hermann’s here_

Jacob puts down his spoon.

 _8:14am_  
_in hong kong?_

 _8:15am_  
_yeah. in the same lab as me_

 _8:15am_  
_are you okay with this?_

 _8:17am_  
_yeah. just wanted to tell you_

Jacob feels a little uneasy. It’s been a while since he’s thought of Hermann, but he suspects that the same isn’t true for Newt.

Illia walks in, freshly showered and drying his hair with a towel.

“Hermann is in Hong Kong,” Jacob says. “Sharing Newt’s lab, no less.”

Illia peers at him from beneath the towel. “And?”

“That’s all he said.”

Jacob finishes his cereal as Illia leans against the counter across from him.

“Do you think Newt still—”

“Yes.”

Illia nods. He drapes the towel over one shoulder, then heads back into the bathroom.

 

\---

 

Jacob visits Newt in July. It’s a 20-hour flight from Boston, with a brief layover in Dallas. He tries not to sleep, because he knows it will be night again when he arrives. He nods off a few times, but he’s wide awake once the city appears below.

Hong Kong is bright and glittering. The skyscrapers seem to reach up as if to grab him, and the jet black sea is speckled with star-like lights. It’s so much bigger than Boston—bigger than L.A. or Berlin. Jacob feels lost in it already.

Once he’s picked up his luggage, Jacob meets Newt just outside the airport. They take a taxi back to the Shatterdome.

“So how are things going?” Jacob asks, dividing his attention between Newt and the colorful neon signs zooming by outside the window.

“Fine,” Newt says, flippantly. “I talk to you all the time, you know they’re going fine.”

“I know, just being polite.”

It’s past 9pm, and Jacob has barely eaten. He stares longingly at each restaurant they pass.

“We can get dinner, if you want,” Newt says. “There’s a few good places within walking distance to the ‘Dome. You’ll have to shove your suitcase under the table, but—”

Jacob sighs with relief. “That sounds great,” he says.

 

\---

 

They end up at a family-owned cafe with outdoor seating on the second floor balcony. Newt points out the Shatterdome in the distance.

“Looks peaceful, from here,” Jacob says.

Newt nods. His face is lit by city light, and he seems quieter than usual—serene.

“How’s Hermann?” Jacob asks.

Newt gives him a look.

“I assume I’m going to meet him?”

“Yeah, probably,” Newt sighs. “He’s uh—good. Things have changed, since the last time we saw each other.”

“What does that mean?”

Newt shrugs. He looks like he’s about to say something, but as soon as he opens his mouth, a waitress stops by and drops a plate of food onto the table. Jacob doesn’t let the matter rest. He raises an expectant eyebrow once the waitress leaves. Newt groans.

“Have I ever told you that you’re nosy?”

“Once or twice.”

“Okay, well, my opinion hasn’t changed.” Newt spoons some noodles onto his plate. “It’s just um—well, I mean, he’s single now. He was engaged, when we met before.”

Jacob pauses in the middle of chewing. “Did he get divorced?”

“No, he just never got married. They broke it off before he left for Hong Kong.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know; he didn't tell me.”

Jacob nods, and they eat in silence for a little while. He can’t figure out how Newt feels about this.

“You had feelings for him,” he says.

Newt snorts. “Yeah.”

“Were you in love with him?”

“Dad, don’t ask me that.” Newt looks down at his food and pointedly ignores Jacob until Jacob takes the hint and drops the subject.

 

\---

 

By the time they get back to the Shatterdome, Jacob is exhausted. Thankfully, Newt has everything ready. His bed is made, surprisingly enough, and there’s an extra pillow and blanket set aside on the sofa.

“You can have the bed,” Newt says. “Since you’re so old and frail.”

Jacob swats at him.

They change into pajamas and brush their teeth in Newt's small bathroom. By 11pm, they’re lying in the dark, falling asleep. Jacob likes the sounds of the Shatterdome; they remind him of the city. He can feel himself drifting off to echoing footsteps and the hum of electronics.

“I’m _still_ in love with him.”

Jacob opens his eyes. Newt’s voice is quiet and hollow. “Hermann?”

“Yeah.”

Newt doesn't say anything more. Jacob looks over at Newt’s darkened silhouette, but can’t make out the expression on his face.

 

\---

 

In the morning, Newt takes Jacob to the lab. Hermann isn’t there when they walk in, but Newt doesn’t seem too surprised. He shows Jacob a few Kaiju samples, and gives him a brief tour of his side of the room. Jacob acts appropriately impressed by all the technical equipment, despite the fact that he hasn’t the slightest clue what any of it is used for.

“You keep instruments in here?” he asks, his attention caught by some clutter in one corner. He walks over with amusement and turns on a keyboard, tapping a few keys just to see if it works.

Newt shrugs. “Yeah, I spend a lot of time in here, so—”

“Do you really need three keyboards in one room?”

“Oh, says _you—_ how many instruments do you keep in the apartment?”

“That’s different, I’m _repairing_ those instruments as part of my _job_.”

“ _Please_ , if you had the space, you’d have a piano in every—”

“ _Ahem_.”

They both turn around to find Hermann standing in the doorway. He looks at Newt, then at Jacob, then at Newt again with an expectant raise of one eyebrow.

“Oh, right,” Newt says. “So this is my dad.”

Jacob steps around the keyboard and reaches out to shake Hermann’s hand.

“Jacob Geiszler,” he says. “Nice to meet you.”

“Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. Likewise.”

They make eye contact, and Jacob has a brief flashback to their conversation on Skype three years ago. Newt looks between them, awkwardly.

“Yeah, so um—I told you my dad would be visiting, and that we’d probably stop by the lab.”

“You did.”

“You’re not like—mad or anything, are you? Because I told you weeks ago—”

“I’m not angry, Newton.” Hermann rolls his eyes and turns to Jacob. “I apologize for the sorry state of the lab. As much as I try to keep it clean, Newton has a tendency to—”

“Hey, dude, why don’t you go back to your chalkboards or something, we’re a little busy here.”

Hermann narrows his eyes, then nods a goodbye to Jacob and heads towards an enormous tri-fold chalkboard covered in writing.

“ _Anyway—_ ” Newt says.

“Is that how he works?” Jacob asks, watching as Hermann climbs a ladder to reach the last empty space.

Newt nods. “Uh—yeah. I mean, not all the time, he’s on the computer a lot too, and he talked someone into getting him a pretty sweet holoscreen. But he prefers the chalkboard. It’s a sensory thing. Plus, I think it’s faster.”

“Faster than a computer?”

“Yeah. He thinks faster than he can type. Which is funny, because he types at like 75 words per minute.” Newt stares up at Hermann in admiration. He seems lost for a moment, until Jacob shifts and gets his attention. "Okay,” he says. “What were we doing?”

 

\---

 

Jacob feels bad about distracting Hermann from his work, so he asks Newt for a tour of the Shatterdome. He knows what to expect, since Newt had shown him around L.A. three years ago, but he still feels unprepared for how much bigger and older everything is in Hong Kong. Newt shows him the Kwoon Combat Room, then lets him peek into LOCCENT. They walk through a repair room, and see some of the battered remains of _Horizon Brave_. At the end of the tour, Newt takes Jacob up to a catwalk and they look down on the two Jaegers that are still functioning— _Shaolin Rogue_ and _Crimson Typhoon_.

“This place is enormous,” Jacob says. “Have you ever gotten lost in here?”

“One time,” Newt says, smiling. “But I mean, it’s not like I’m travelling all over the Shatterdome every day. I mostly just stick to the lab and my room.”

Jacob nods. They stand there together, watching technicians hoist themselves up and down over the surface of each Jaeger.

“What are they doing?” Jacob asks.

Newt shrugs. “Repairs, cleaning, making sure everything’s working properly, so the Jaegers will be ready to deploy.”

“Have you ever been inside one?”

“Nah. Hermann has, though. You should see him talk about it. His eyes light up and he—” Newt laughs, quietly. “He wanted to be a pilot when he was a kid. I think it’s still in him.”

“Why didn’t he?” Jacob asks, before catching himself. “Oh—was it his—um. His…”

“His leg? You can say it, dad.” Newt smirks at Jacob’s discomfort, then gazes out at the Jaegers in front of them. “Yeah, that could be part of it. But I mean, you can still fly planes, even if you’re disabled. I used to think it was his eyesight, but that’s correctable to 20/20. Honestly, I think it was mostly his dad.”

Jacob frowns. “His dad?”

“Yeah. Lars really pushed Hermann to follow in his footsteps. I think Hermann struggled with it.”

Jacob is beginning to realize how little he actually knows about Hermann. Newt has never said anything about Hermann’s home life, or his childhood.

“Does he not have a good relationship with his family?”

Newt shakes his head. “He doesn’t talk about it much, but...no, not really. Lars turned into a big advocate for the Coastal Wall, so you can imagine how Hermann feels about _that_.”

Jacob has heard about the Wall of Life on the news. The program was established fairly recently, and has been gaining favor among those who believe the Jaegers to be a waste of funding and resources.

“Anyway,” Newt says. He pushes himself away from the edge of the catwalk, stretching his arms over his head and motioning towards the door that leads back inside. “Let’s go have lunch.”

 

\---

 

The mess hall is crowded. There are a few empty tables scattered around the edge of the room, but all the tables that are taken are stuffed full of people.

“This way,” Newt says.

They stand in line for food, filling their trays and moving along until they’re spat back out into the middle of the crowd. Newt scans the room quickly, then motions for Jacob to follow as he heads towards an empty table up against the wall. A few people watch as Newt passes by, but no one shouts out to greet him or motion him towards them.

“The food isn’t so bad,” Newt says, sitting down and popping a piece of chicken into his mouth. “But we’re definitely going out for dinner tonight.” He watches with amusement as Jacob struggles with chopsticks. “You know, there _were_ forks up there.”

Jacob groans. “Well you could have told me that!”

They chat for a bit, making plans for the rest of the day, and deciding what to see over the course of the week. Just as they’re finishing lunch, Newt glances across the room, then shifts in closer to the wall to make space on the bench. Hermann sits down next to him.

“This is the nerd table,” Newt explains, looking up at Jacob.

Hermann frowns. “Speak for yourself.”

“Sorry—are you _denying_ your nerd status? Because last I checked, _someone_ at this table has a framed _Evangelion_ poster hanging next to his bed. It’s not me, and it sure isn’t my dad.”

Hermann scowls. “It’s an _art print_.” He moves his salad towards Newt, who plucks off the tomatoes and puts them on his own plate before pushing the bowl back.

“Whatever. It’s cool dude, I’m not judging. I’m more of a magical girl fan myself, but then, you knew that.”

“Newton, _please_ change the subject.”

Newt laughs. He smiles at Hermann for just a few seconds too long.

“Are you enjoying your stay, Mr. Geiszler?” Hermann asks, politely.

Jacob nods. “Yeah, thank you. The jet lag isn’t too fun, but it’s good to see Newt again, since he’s started living so far from home.”

“It must be quieter at your house, though.”

“Hey!” Newt elbows Hermann in the side, and Hermann smiles just a bit, before covering his mouth with a napkin.

“Is it your first time in Hong Kong?” he asks.

“Yeah, actually it’s my first time out of the U.S., since we immigrated. I did a little bit of travelling before Newt was born, but it was so much faster and less expensive within Europe.”

Hermann nods in agreement. He’s a slow eater; both Jacob and Newt have already cleared their plates.

“You don’t need to wait for me,” he murmurs to Newt. “I’m sure you have plans.”

"Hey, _nerd table_ means nobody gets left behind."

Hermann shakes his head.

“Is that all you’re eating? You need some carbs. Want me to get you something? I wanna go back up, anyway.”

"If there are any more pork buns—”

“Sure, no prob. Dad, you want something?”

Jacob shakes his head.

“Okay, BRB.” Newt runs back towards the line, leaving Hermann and Jacob alone.

“You didn’t tell him that we spoke over Skype,” Hermann says, after a moment of silence. He looks up at Jacob, briefly catching his eyes.

“No, I didn’t,” Jacob replies. “I don’t—I shouldn’t have done that.”

Hermann nods, then glances around the room.

"Do you always eat together?" Jacob asks.

Hermann shrugs. "More often than not. It really isn't necessary for you to wait for me, though. There are other people I could sit with."

Jacob shakes his head. "That's okay, I don't mind." He watches as Hermann waves to someone in the distance—a teenage girl following close behind Marshal Pentecost. Jacob glances over at Newt and finds him waiting in line alone, fidgeting with his sleeve. "Are there um—does Newt have anyone else to sit with?"

Hermann hesitates, choosing his words carefully. "When I'm not here,” he says, “Newton prefers to eat in the lab.”

Jacob feels his heart sink. Newt seemed well-liked in L.A., but since moving to Hong Kong, the only friend he's mentioned is Hermann.

“I don’t think he’s _disliked_ , necessarily,” Hermann continues. “But I believe his enthusiasm for Kaiju is misinterpreted.”

Jacob sighs. “I was afraid the tattoos would be a bad idea.”

“Their subject matter is inappropriate. But I must admit—they suit him.”

Jacob looks up, and Hermann suddenly seems very interested in the salad dressing at the bottom of his bowl.

“He told me you broke off your engagement.”

Hermann drops his fork with a clatter. He’s saved from responding when Newt comes bounding back to the table.

“Here you go.” He sets two pork buns in front of Hermann, who tsks.

“I only wanted one.”

“Yeah but it’s the baked kind, and you love the baked kind.”

Hermann frowns, but he eats both pork buns, anyway.

 

\---

 

After lunch, Newt takes Jacob back to his quarters. Jacob’s internal clock is still a little off, so he takes a longer nap than he should, and they spend the rest of the day doing nothing more strenuous than watching movies and deciding what to do for dinner. They go into the city that night, then again the next morning. They plan day trips around Hong Kong, and visit parks and museums. They cross the whole city just to go to a cafe known for its Kaiju-themed latte art.

“Hold on, I gotta post this,” Newt says. He takes out his phone and snaps a few pictures before allowing Jacob to take his first sip.

 

\---

 

On Thursday, Newt has a meeting that he can’t miss. Jacob finishes a book in Newt’s quarters, then scrolls through Netflix, trying to find something to watch. He can’t make up his mind, so instead of staying cooped up in Newt’s room wondering what to do with himself, he heads towards the lab.

Hermann is there, sitting at his computer and typing away. He looks over his glasses as Jacob comes in, and pauses briefly in his work.

“Newt’s at a meeting,” Jacob explains. “I’m just looking for ways to entertain myself.” He looks down at one of Newt’s keyboards, wondering if would be too unwieldy to carry. It’s not too heavy, and Newt’s quarters are fairly close, so he unplugs it from the wall with a tug. “I’ll take it to his room, don’t worry.”

“If you could convince him to _keep it_ in his room…” Hermann mutters.

Jacob laughs. “Sorry, does he play in here often?”

“Well, not as often as his collection of instruments would suggest. Usually it’s just the guitar.”

Jacob looks down at the acoustic guitar leaning against the wall. It’s the same one Newt had when he lived at home. The same one he used to write a song for Hermann, when they were first exchanging letters.

“He’s not terrible,” Hermann admits. “But don’t tell him I said that.”

Jacob smiles. He winds the keyboard’s power cable into a loop and wraps it around one arm. He’s about to walk out of the lab when Hermann speaks again.

“I wasn’t the one who ended the engagement.”

Jacob pauses at the door. “Excuse me?”

“The other day, at lunch. You said that _I_ ended it. I didn’t. It was Vanessa who broke up with me.”

“Oh.” Jacob glances at the door, unsure if he should leave, or if Hermann is going to continue.

"I never told Newton the whole story."

Jacob sets down the keyboard. Hermann’s head is hidden behind his monitor, so Jacob goes a little closer in order to see him. Hermann glances up and makes eye contact, but seems embarrassed, and doesn't say anything more.

"What _is_ the whole story?"

Hermann is quiet for a moment. “The engagement was my father’s idea. I went along with it because Vanessa and I were close, and my father didn’t approve of me being—well, it just seemed unlikely that there would be any other option for me. Vanessa could tell that I wasn’t entirely happy.”

"Did you love her?"

“Not in the way that I should have.” Hermann bites his lip. “We’re good friends, but I don’t feel for Vanessa the way I've come to feel for—someone else.”

Hermann glances over at the other side of the lab. When Jacob realizes what Hermann is saying, he lets out a little “oh.” Hermann startles, pushing his chair away from his desk and standing up.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Jacob shakes his head. “No, it’s alright—it’s okay.” Hermann starts shifting things around on his desk, moving papers from one spot to another until Jacob puts a hand on his back to calm him. “Hey,” he says. “I won’t say anything, but I think that you need to talk to him.”

Hermann sighs. “It’s too late now, after the way that I’ve treated him—”

“Hermann. Have you not noticed that he’s been flirting with you?”

“It’s not flirting; he’s always like that.”

“He’s always like that _with you_.”

Hermann doesn’t respond. Jacob gives his shoulder a squeeze, then heads back towards the door.

“I can’t believe you two have been friends for seven years—minus a three-year hiccup—and you still haven’t figured this out.” He picks up the keyboard, laughing to himself, then waves goodbye to a stunned Hermann on the other side of the lab.

 

\---

 

Jacob stays in Hong Kong for a week and a half. By the end of his time there, Newt is getting a little jittery. He keeps stopping off at the lab to check on experiments, and the trips are getting longer and longer. It’s clear that he wants to get back to work.

They say their goodbyes in the airport. Jacob isn’t looking forward to another 20 hours of flying, but he is getting homesick for Boston.

“I’ll text you when I land,” he says, as he hugs Newt goodbye. “You’ll probably be busy and won’t see it, but—”

Newt snorts. “I’ll see it. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

Jacob tries not to get emotional. He should be used to saying goodbye by now, but it actually gets harder every time. There’s no end in sight to the Kaiju war, and having Newt right on the Pacific still makes him nervous.

“I’ll be okay,” Newt says. “I survived the attack in L.A. I can take on another one.”

It’s hardly a comfort, but Jacob accepts it.

 

\---

 

Newt doesn’t come home for Christmas. A Kaiju attacks Seoul in November, and Newt is too overloaded with work to leave Hong Kong. To make up for it, he calls on Christmas morning. He’s in the lab with Hermann, wearing goggles over a blinking, light-up Santa hat. He spins his laptop around to show off the room, which is decorated with red and green on his side, blue and silver on Hermann’s.

“Hermann’s Jewish, so I decorated his side for Hanukkah,” he explains. “Now we’re the K-Sci Chrismukkah Lab!”

Jacob frowns. “Didn’t Hanukkah end a week ago?”

“Yeah, well, we’ve been busy. And there’s nothing wrong with keeping up streamers and Christmas lights—or Hanukkah lights. Whatever.”

Jacob sees Hermann shake his head at his chalkboard, then Newt spins his laptop back around.

“We’re going to a party later. I was actually _invited_ , I’m not just tagging along with Hermann this time.”

Jacob smiles.

In January, Jacob sends Newt a huge care package for his birthday. It contains all his favorite snacks, as well as a pair of Kaiju-print socks that Jacob found at the dollar store. In February, Newt sends selfies of himself and Hermann from Hong Kong’s Lunar New Year festivities. There are fireworks in the background, and Newt has his arm around Hermann’s shoulder. Winter changes into spring, the snow begins to melt, and just as buds are beginning to bloom on the trees, Jacob gets an unexpected Skype call from Newt.

 

\---

 

There’s something different about him—Jacob can tell. Newt is practically bursting to say something, but he’s holding it back, because he wants someone to ask, first. He wants the spotlight. Jacob is just about to give in when Illia says,

“What’s with the shit-eating grin?”

That’s not quite the way Jacob would have handled it, but it’s all Newt needs to get started.

“Nothing,” he says, smiling, smugly. “It’s just that Hermann kissed me last night.”

“What?!”

Illia laughs, which causes Newt to laugh, then suddenly it’s a chain reaction and they’re all laughing while Jacob and Illia beg for more details.

“How did it happen?”

“Did you kiss him back?”

Newt snorts. “Of course I kissed him back.”

“Was it just one kiss, or—”

“Okay, I’m not gonna give you all the gory details. But it was like—it was one little kiss, and then another, longer kiss.”

“Tell us everything.”

Newt describes the scene at length. They were watching a movie in Newt’s quarters. They were already sitting close, but then Hermann put his arm on the back of the sofa, behind Newt’s shoulders. Newt leaned in a little, and Hermann dropped his arm around Newt, and then they were properly cuddling in the middle of the movie, both struggling to pretend they were still watching.

“So then there was this joke that I laughed at, and I looked up at Hermann to see his reaction and he looked down at me to see my reaction and we realized at the same time how close our faces were, and he leaned in and just kinda—kissed me.”

“Just like that?” Jacob asks.

“Well, I mean, he did it really slow so I could pull away if I wanted to, but I tilted my chin up, it was totally an invitation.”

“Was it good?”

“Of course it was good—no details. I’m not gonna tell my dad all about my boyfriend’s kissing technique.”

“So you’re boyfriends now?”

“Well, we’re going out to dinner this weekend, it seems pretty official.”

Jacob smiles. Newt looks overjoyed. His cheeks are pink and he won’t stop smiling.

“Well this is certainly good news,” Jacob says. “Will we get to congratulate Hermann, too?”

“Dad, it’s not a proposal, calm down.”

“Alright. But if I happen to call and he’s there, I want to talk to him.”

Newt rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

Newt doesn’t have much else to say. When he starts restlessly checking his phone, Jacob knows the conversation is over.

“Well, thank you for the update,” he says. “You clearly have something more pressing happening, so I’ll let you go.”

Newt looks up from his phone guiltily. “Sorry, Hermann keeps texting me. He’s in a meeting and he’s bored.”

“Well, tell him I say hello.”

Newt does, then they hang up, and Jacob gives a sigh of relief.

“They were both so stubborn,” Illia says.

Jacob snorts. “You should have seen them in Hong Kong.” He stands up and pushes in his chair.

“Were they really that bad?”

“They were, but they just need to learn to communicate with each other. If they do, they have a pretty solid chance at making this work.”

Illia nods, then leaves the room. Jacob stares at the laptop for a few moments before shutting it closed with a smile.

 

\---


	4. Epilogue

_Four years later_

Newt and Hermann visit Boston in February, just over a month after the Breach closes. Jacob offers to pick them up at the airport, but Newt declines. Instead, Jacob spends the hour before their arrival restlessly cleaning the apartment. He glances out the window every time he passes by, and rushes downstairs when he finally sees their taxi pull up to the building. When he gets there, Newt is pulling his keycard from his pocket. Jacob opens the door.

“You haven’t been home in ages, you honestly still have your key?”

Newt laughs and gives him a hug. “Of course I do, you think I would get rid of it?”

It feels good to have Newt in front of him again. Once he pulls away, Jacob immediately turns to Hermann, bringing him in close as if they’re old friends. Hermann seems a little startled. He’s stiff at first, but then loosens up, patting Jacob on the back with one hand.

“It’s good to see you again,” Jacob says, as they part.

Hermann smiles. “Yes, you as well.”

 

\---

 

They take the elevator back upstairs. Hermann is introduced to Illia, who offers a polite handshake instead of a hug—to Hermann’s relief. He gives a warm smile, then is tugged away by Newt, for a tour of the whole apartment.

Newt is a lively and animated host. He points out little details in each room—the alien he doodled on the coffee table in permanent marker, the self portrait he drew in middle school that still hangs on the living room wall. Hermann smiles and looks charmed, but there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes when Newt shows off their family photos.

They come into the kitchen as Jacob is preparing dinner. Newt points out his growth chart on the doorway.

“See?” he says. “Every year, until I was 17. Some years we marked it twice. Check out this growth spurt from 2004.”

Jacob looks up from his cutting board and sees Newt smiling wide and Hermann acting appropriately amused. Hermann moves Newt into position against the wall, then looks down at the top of his head.

“Goodness,” he says. “It seems you’ve actually shrunk…”

“What? No I haven’t!” Newt holds his hand in place to mark his height, then twists around to compare himself against the chart. Hermann chuckles. “Dr. Gottlieb, you fucking liar.”

Hermann leans in and kisses Newt on the cheek.

 

\---

 

There’s something different about them. They seem so in synch, like they’ve known each other their whole lives. At first, Jacob thinks it's because they’re a couple, but after observing them that night, he realizes that it runs a little deeper. It’s as if they predict each other’s movements—like they know what the other is going to do before it even happens.

Jacob has seen documentaries on the Drift. He knows that Ghost Drifting exists—that no one knows how deeply it runs, or how long it can last. He notices each time Newt and Hermann seem to talk without speaking. Sometimes they sigh in relief at physical contact.

“Do you still feel it?” Jacob asks one night. Hermann has gone to bed, and Newt is watching the news with Jacob and Illia. He’s twisting his wristband in circles. He looks worlds away.

“What?” he asks.

“The Drift.”

Newt purses his lips. “A little. It’s hard to tell. Sometimes, I’m not sure what’s the Drift and what’s just—us.”

Jacob nods.

“Other times it’s more obvious.” Newt smiles. “Like—right now, I can tell that he’s dreaming about me.”

“You can see his dreams?”

“I can sense them.”

Newt’s eyes go distant again. Jacob looks up at Illia, who looks back at the TV. There’s a news report about coastline cleanup in Los Angeles. Jacob tries to see if he recognizes anything from his trip. He’s startled when Newt gets up from the sofa.

“Nightmare,” Newt mutters. He runs upstairs. Jacob hears the door to his room open, then close.

 

\---

 

Jacob goes to a chamber performance on Friday night. He was invited by a friend who plays violin, and they spend two hours afterward talking shop and catching up. By the time he gets back to the apartment, it’s nearly midnight. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and yawns as he opens the door.

The TV is on when he steps inside; the volume is turned down low. Illia must be in bed, but Newt and Hermann are still sitting on the couch. Newt is fast asleep. His head is resting on Hermann’s shoulder, his left hand clasped in Hermann’s right. Hermann looks up at Jacob, but doesn’t say anything. Jacob smiles and gives him a nod, feeling as if he’s interrupted. He hangs up his jacket and goes into the kitchen.

Jacob hears the tap of Hermann’s cane on the hardwood floor, so he’s not surprised when he looks up and sees him standing there in the doorway.

“May I talk to you?” Hermann asks.

Jacob nods. He fills two mugs with water and microwaves them for tea. They sit together at the table.

“I’m not sure how to begin,” Hermann says, stirring the cloud of milk in his mug. “I must admit, I’ve practiced this speech in the bathroom mirror, but I still don’t feel quite ready.”

Jacob smiles. He’s a little nervous—his fingertips are getting cold. Hermann sighs and sets his spoon aside.

“I’m in love with your son,” Hermann says. “I have been for a long time—since far before we even entered a relationship. I care for him a great deal, and I know how important his family is to him, and that’s why I’d like to ask if I might have your blessing. I’d like to propose to him.”

Jacob is speechless. He wants to look over at Newt, but Newt isn’t visible from where they sit in the kitchen.

“This is something I’ve thought about for months, now,” Hermann says quietly.

Jacob clears his throat. Tears are pricking the corners of his eyes.

“Of course,” he says, nodding quickly. “Of course, yes, of course.” He reaches across the table, taking Hermann’s hands in his own and squeezing them tightly. “You’ve always had my blessing, since the very beginning. I know how happy you make him, I’d be—” His voice catches, and he laughs a little, overcome with joy. “I’d be proud to welcome you into our family.”

Hermann is blushing. His eyes are a little teary, which only makes Jacob a little teary, and before he knows it, one cheek is wet, and Hermann is passing him a handkerchief.

“Thank you,” Hermann murmurs. “Thank you very much.”

 

\---

 

Once Jacob has calmed down a bit, they sit together and slowly nurse their tea.

“Do you have a ring?” Jacob asks.

“I’ve ordered it. It should be ready by the time we get back to Hong Kong.”

“When will you propose?”

“Soon. Waiting is making me anxious.”

Jacob smiles. Hermann is blushing again. He blushes so easily—it must entertain Newt to no end.

“We’ve talked about getting an apartment together,” Hermann says. “We’d like to move to Boston.”

Jacob’s heart skips a beat. “Oh?”

“Newton has been offered a position at MIT. We were waiting to see if I would be offered one as well, and I just got the call today.”

“Does Newt know?”

“I haven’t told him. I think I’ll tell him when I propose.”

Jacob feels himself getting choked up again. “God, he’ll be so happy.”

When they’ve finished their tea, Jacob takes both their mugs and washes them in the kitchen sink. He glances into the living room.

“I don’t think Newt has moved an inch since you came in here,” he says. “He’s out like a light.”

Hermann goes to the doorway. Jacob puts the mugs away, then comes up behind him, squeezing Hermann’s shoulder.

“He’s going to say yes,” Jacob murmurs.

Hermann smiles softly and nods. “I know.”

He crosses the room and sits down on the couch in front of Newt. He puts a hand on Newt’s cheek and strokes it, whispering too quietly for Jacob to hear. Newt stirs. His eyes flutter open and he yawns. He reaches for Hermann. Hermann kisses his forehead, and Jacob turns away. The moment feels too private to watch.

 

\---

 

On Sunday morning, Jacob takes Newt and Hermann to the airport. He still hates saying goodbye, but this time it’s a little easier. The next time they come to Boston, they’ll be staying for good.

Jacob has gone as far as he can without a boarding pass. He hugs them both goodbye and is ready to watch them leave when Newt motions for Hermann to go on ahead.

“I’ll be right there,” he says. “Just let me say goodbye to my dad.”

Hermann nods. He gives Jacob one more glance, then heads towards their gate, rolling his suitcase behind him.

“What’s up?” Jacob asks. Newt waits to speak until Hermann is well out of earshot.

“I just um—I just wanted to run something by you.”

“Okay…”

“I want to ask Hermann to marry me.”

Jacob catches his breath. He looks over at Hermann, then back at Newt. He should have known this would happen. He should have known they’d be perfectly in synch.

“Do you think he wants to?” Newt asks. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Jacob can’t help it—he laughs.

 

\---


End file.
